Challenging Love. An exploration of theories and practices of Consensual Affective Non-Monogamies in Italy

Several factors (such as the legalisation of divorce, changes in gender roles, the spread of contraceptive methods, changes in the socio-economic system and social incentives fostering individualism) have introduced changes in the way of enacting and conceiving intimate relationships in Western societies. More and more people are shifting from the expectation of having one "eternal" love to the possibility of experiencing different intimate relationships during their lifetimes. Nevertheless, neither social legitimacy nor legal recognition are provided for models outside that of the stable monogamous couple. Starting from these premises, the thesis aims to present an overview of theories and practices of Consensual Affective Non-Monogamies in Italy from an insider perspective. Beginning with a more generic theoretical contextualisation of intimacies and sexualities in Western societies, the thesis then focuses on the theories and state of the art of studies about polyamory and other more radical CANM, such as Relationship Anarchy. While at the beginning Giddens’s conceptualisation of the “pure relationship” and “convergent love” were much more at the centre of my reflection (because of what I saw as their proximity to polyamorous theory), with the development of my research I adopted a more critical perspective, reconsidering the relations of power within intimate relationships and the classist and racist ideas incorporated into the presentation of white middle-class couples as an example of gender equality. The analysis of the empirical material follows various main axes: personal autonomy/emotional security; hierarchical/non-hierarchical approach; emotions/rationality; orientation/choice; desire for social legitimacy/political radicalism. The result is a complex and polyphonic picture, with positions ranging from more individualistic to more network-oriented ones, from highly hierarchical to relationship anarchists, from approaches that focus on rationality to attempts to put the body and emotions at the centre.